Ive never been this dissapointed and mad at you. Yes i know i have bring your ex back when we fight. i know. but i do realise that it hurts. But you. You know it hurts yet you purposely do it. once is ok. and.i think i have tolarated it enough. "Favourite girl" fuuuck you. you can be mad at me when i bring.it.up but.i cant be mad at you? I apologise straight away but your ego is too damn big. Yesterday you left me. didnt pick up my call. ignored me. and i was worried but i still call you no matter.what eventhough iknow.you black list me so that i.couldnt get through you. you saw ny miss call in the morning but.you cant.give a fuck.about.it. im holding on to a thin thread. its really thin. really really thin. i hate being treated this way. everything is my fault. why do girls always mistreat me? why? am i not good enough? fuck. i hate.when you push me away when i come to you still. I hate when you get mad at me for my.mistakes. fuck. i hate you so much now because you have hurt me so bad. I dont know.why but am i.not that good enough? i have never treated you the way your ex did. never. why do you this to me and.not him? because o give you face? Im tired being the one who always has to make the first move. im putting my feet down. I tried pulling you wanting to talk to you eventhough you have hurt.me.so.much. but you just.turn aroumd.and walk away. I dont feel love enough by.you. im always wrong in your eyes. i dont wanna move from this place. im making up excuses. wanting to charge my.phone. wanting to go to the toilet. but all i want to do is walk away and see if you chase me like how.i would no matter how angey i am. now its no more of nger but.sadness that dwell me.over.
you talked to your friends. say the story and yes. obviously its my fault. im always the bad guy.im gonna suck it in and be alright. ill back off.from.your friends knowing.its yours and im only a plus one. fuck this feeling. i have.survive.through poly.life with little friends. sometimes alone. i can do it still. but sometimes i just wonder.if you notice that im not there. but apparently your.having.fun not thinking.a.fuck about.me. im gonna do the same. im gonna have.fun. even if it means me myself alone.